is it love, or lust, or...?

i'm ...well, not really love...more like lust, or at least an intense level of "i really, really want!". ever feel that kind of wanting? just for the record, i have had him (in the carnal sense). now i just want him in every other sense ... and therein lies my problem. i want like a a six year old wants, immediately and intensely. yes, i know i'm supposed to be all grown-up and stuff, but really, this one is rather special, and worth wanting like that. what makes thim that special? i'm so glad you asked! he is amazingly intelligent, and not just in an academic way (he does have those creds too though); he's also creative, unique, kinky, talented, and mmmm, can this man kiss!

but I digress...what was i talking about...? just thinking about his kisses does that to me....oh yes, he also seems to think i'm pretty special (and yes folks, i'm that easy).....the problem i have is that i want him to fall in love with me. hell, just so you know, i want everyone to fall in love with me, but especially him.

he asked me once what i want from life, and i told him that "i want to be surrounded by people i care about, and to be doing something that has meaning in my life. i want to live my life with passion and I want loves and lovers". not much to ask for is it?

And i want him to be one of those people, one of my loves (and yes, only one....but i'll save that discussion for another day...). so what do i do? i take a deep breath and tell the six year old that if it is meant to be, it will be, and if it does not work out, i will have had an amazing experience, and i'll move on to other adventures....but just in case it might help, keep your fingers cross for me okay?

lush