the warm and fuzzies...

well, i did promise an update on a few recent experiences....

the tantric massage....mmmmmm....yes, i will be returning for another. i won't go into all details here, but the man has an energy that is only matched by his luscious body (and i do mean luscious !). and by energy, i'm not talking about the "energizer bunny" kind of thing. i mean the energy that flows through him and can be felt in his presence. his is calming, sensual, and oh so sexy. and he seems quite knowledgable to boot!

speaking of "energy", i've recently been learning how to keep myself better balanced by being aware of how others' energy is affecting me. i've always been quite susceptible (seriously so) to feeling the energy of other people, and without realizing it, letting it become my own stuff. now, this would be a great thing if i was always surrounded by people with positive, warm, healthy vibes, but alas, this is not always the case.....so, i'm learning how to lessen the impact on myself of other's negative energy, while still allowing myself to "feel" and bask in the warm, fuzzy grooves of those in positive head spaces....gotta love it!

ahhh...just thinking about the massage....wishing i was back there again....:)

lush

not the same old saturday night...

spent a lovely evening with a newish friend (MC) and his Mistress. no, not "mistress" in terms of a "little on the side"...i mean Mistress in terms of bdsm....she was in town for the weekend, so MC introduced us. she was/is a lovely lady (an edgy, lovely lady, mind you...every edgy). she doesn't dabble in bdsm/kink; it is her life.

so what did we do? dark, mysterious, sexual deeds in a dungeon somewhere...? lol...no...we went to a salon and got our nails done. manicures and pedicures are a guilty pleasure of mine. i mean who doesn't love having his or her feet massaged and pampered (hmmmm....i think i should find myself a foot fetishist.....) anyhow, back to the salon.... as we were being pampered and Mistress L was having long, deadly looking nails attached (she'd removed them the night before to engage in some sexual play that, shall we say, requires, or at least, is preferrable with, short finger nails...) , we frankly discussed some of her life, her business as a Pro-Domme, her sex shop, her "24/7 slaves" (these are willing "slaves" for those who may not be familiar with the bdsm world).... as we talked i could only imagine what might be going on in the minds of the women who polished our nails (mine short and dark by the way - the nails, not the woman) as they listened to us...

after a marvelous sushi dinner, Mistress L, MC, and i checked out a few sex shops on davie. by the way, if you get a chance, check out Priape, a fabulous sex/kink/fetishwear shop. they are geared toward the mostly male clientele of the area, but word is that they may soon carry some women's fetish gear....and yes, i did buy myself a few toys... :)

sadly, there was no play to end the great night. MC wasn't feeling well and it was better that he get some rest. but Mistress L did make a comment about returning to do a little training of me....i'm just not sure of want kind she was referring too... could be interesting either way... :)

a teaser....

i'm back...yes, in case you didn't notice it, i've been away, and now i have a helluva a lot to write about. but not tonight. i'm tired, and a little down about a particular (temporary, but not temporary enough) circumstance in my life...well, pouting and feeling sorry for myself is more like it....yes, i know...you don't have to say it.....

so anyhow, here's a taste of the coming posts: getting nails done with a subby friend and his mistress...a tour of a few vancouver sex shops...my tantric massage (and the delicious masseur)....why i'm not so fond of young men....a little new (and not to be repeated) power play experience....the best chocolate drink ever....tart....and a new special friend...and...oh yes, hotels.....

talk to y'all soon...

lush

mmm....a reason for cake...

remember that telephone interview? the one i hated? well folks, i got the job (she says, grinning from ear to ear). 'guess they saw some of my fabulousness after all. :)

it's a celebration cake by the way...the only kind i get since i gave up sugar....

an emotional dance...

we haven't met in person yet. a message on a dating site leads to a chat on a messenger site, and i feel like we've known each other before. there is a uniqueness that touches my core. it's only been a few nights, each conversation awkwardly revealing layers....

it's his fragility that holds me. it's the truth in her words. it's the uniqueness of his soul, laid so bare...yes...his...her...an androgynous soul...

plans underway to meet...with my promise to respect the fragility of a person healing...

lush

tantric healing....

i've booked a session for a sensual massage (the first of many i hope...). check it out http://www.nextlevelbodycare.com/ When i first found it (through james' profile on another site i love) i was immediately captivated. the last two years have been a time of tremendous growth, healing, exploration, and insight for me, and at times i feel like i am nearing the end of a chrysalis stage of life...(well, at least one of the many cycles of emotional/psychological/spiritual transformation in our lives).

i've already been doing some healing body work (working on my chakras), but realized i've realized that I am still physically holding onto negative energy in my body. i've always had difficulty to various degrees being completely and fully emotionally present at times when I am involved with someone sexually (some of you may understand this, some may not), and I'm at a point where this is not okay with me anymore, and i want to more fully realize the fundamental connectedness between my physical/emotional/psychological/spiritual/sexual aspects of my nature. sound like difficult task? i don't think so...a long process maybe, but i know it will be so worth the journey....

i'll let you know how the session goes....

peace,

lush

my mission...should i choose to accept....

sooo....someone mentioned to me today that i must remember to "diversify"...and he wasn't referring about my portfolio (no...i don't really have one ...). he was, instead, responding to my lack of dating women recently... a woeful lack if i do say so. i do miss a woman's soft skin, her lips, her breasts, her moans when i.....well, you get the picture (i know that i have it in technicolour in my mind right now).

so i asked myself why is it that most all of my recent play has been with men? and ya know what i came up with? there aren't enough kinky bi or lesbian women... hmmmm....i don't want to think that my answer is right, so i'm on a mission to seek out fabulous, kinky lesbians or bi women....(an honourable mission in life i think....).

glibness aside, i really do miss women. there is a certain aspect of sensuality i feel with women that i don't find with men.... and if you know me at all by now, you know i choose to not try to fit myself into the "white picket fence, monogamously happily ever after" way of being. instead, i could envision an ideal life where i have a committed partner of each gender (and being able to still play with others when the desire arises...)...ah, i just want it all....

well, reconnaissance has begun, and i will keep you posted....

lush

missing in (in)action....

tart, oh tart...where art though....?

time better wasted.....

it was an afternoon coffee date... a "get to know each other over a cuppa something". now, he wasn't immediately the kind of guy i'm attracted to. he was older, straight, and seemed rather vanilla, but he did come across in initial e-mails as very intelligent (i'm a sucker for that) and talented in his field. given that he was quite travelled and seemed a complex, interesting person, i thought i'd give it a try...

well , to sum up...in a response to a question i asked, he replied, "i'll keep my answer brief as it's dull for a person to drone on and on about himself".....and then for the next three hours, proceeded to tell me about his life, his work, his past, his family, his hopes, his aversion to vancouver (devoid of culture in his view) .... (notice a pattern?)...and to be completley truthful, he has had an interesting life, but it was all about him. and since i refuse to fight for conversation space, i let him drone on and on.... coming to understand his particular brand of pomposity.....(mixed with a tendency to do tasteless imitations of people's accents - a big yuck in my opinion).

definitely no sparks to be had (he invited me back to his place, and i declined, obviously).

the icing on the tasteless cake?....an e-mail from him (in response to mine thanking him for the coffee - yes, i'm that kind of girl)..."you are a lovely woman, but i don't think there is any boyfriend/girlfriend potential".....!

i actually laughed out loud...i mean, it was funny... and i wondered where he got the idea that's what i wanted, then realized it was nothing i'd said or done; it was just a part of his arrogance/pomposity to assume it.

anyhow, lessons learned? pay more attention to my first instincts.....and re-appraise my inclination to be polite after a boring date....

lush

odd things that make me smile...

well, it's by far not the oddest site i've seen, but the title did strike me as rather incongruous (i do enjoy incongruity at times...). i like the juxstaposition of the naughty and nice....this ain't your granny's knitting....(or maybe it is, and there were a few things about your granny you didn't know...) anyhow, check it out... http://www.knittedporn.blogspot.com/

lush

ach! i just finished an interview for a new job..."holy stress batman!" is all i can say.

yes, i'm changing jobs...well, more like going into another area of my profession, one that will allow me a little more flexibility than my current position (it has been time for me to move on for over a year, but it is only now that i'm doing what needs to be done).

but, back to the interview. i haaaaate interviews, not that i imagine anyone really enjoys being grilled, however tenderly it may be done (well, some might, but that's another post completely...). it has been 11 years since the last one and i think i'm out of practice. i talked ad naseum, but realized that i wasn't really saying what i wanted to say. "talk alot - say nothing"...hmmm, kind of like many politicians i suppose. now, false modesty aside (oh hell, who am i trying to fool? i have no false modesty) i am good at my job, and would be fabulous at the one i'm applying for. but i have noooo idea of whether that came across in the interview. did i impress, or did i not? did the interview panel (of 4 people) see just how fabulous i am, or did i come across as "a lot of talk, little substance" (like a few dates i've had....)? and now i'm left hangin'....for three weeks, at which time the powers that be will deign to let me know their decisions.....

ah, either way, i'm fine. i'll still be changing jobs, but will be going to plan "b"..... not so much a fan of plan "b" though, 'cause you know it's going to involve another damn interview.....!

wish me luck!

lush

kinky, kinky, kinky...

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Tart and the adventures of online dating

1. LesBiGay
2. OkCupid
3. PlentyofFish
   

which one?

One?

why one?

I've been the one avoiding dating. Making dates, cancelling dates. Angering the very small pool of gay women in town by doing so and now have decided that its almost Spring and its time to DATE. so I am on ...

All ... yes, all of them!

Tart is on alll THREE websites.

girls girls girls.

Everywhere!

~Tart

is it done yet...?

well, the dreaded day is over...thankfully! i'm an anti-valentines day kinda girl. even when i'm in a committed relationship, i prefer to not commemorate february 14th with anything that resembles love or romance (sex maybe, but that goes for any day of the year...). why choose one day of the year to tell someone that you love him or her? i prefer to share my love every day of the year, and i would prefer to receive tokens of appreciation because my love or lover feels moved let me know that he or she cares, not because he or she is supposed give one on this specific day.

i'm thinking that i would like to begin a fun tradition that honours my anti-valentine sentiment. any suggestions?

lush

play time...

so, given the intensity of the last few weeks, i'm seriously in need of some fun, so this weekend it's play time. i'll be spending an evening with a sweet kinky boy "MC" who loves to explore soooo many apsects of the sexual experience. he is so yummy! and, of course i'll be seeing "EG" (of an earlier post) ..... mmmm! oh yes, and then there's coffee with a new, hopefully interesting, fella. will let you know how that goes. well, i'll probably let you know how it all goes.... ;)

and last, but in no way least, tart and i will get a chance to sit and chat, which we are so rarely able to do these days. maybe i can convince her to go "toy" shopping with me.... :)

kisses...

lush

sweet sound of silence...

oh, where to begin...

i am feeling rather fatigued right now, but it is the kind of fatigue that a little time and quiet will ease. i've just spent a few days with family, and while i love them all, the combination of boisterous children, too little space, and the drama of unresolved conflicts and grief has taken its emotional and physical toll. but enough said about that...i have learned (and now been reminded) that, family or not, i need not live their lives, and choose to not become enmeshed in thier issues....

so, on with my life....

lush

what's a girl to do?

What's a girl to do when she's rather rent a movie (by herself) on Valentine's Day than make the effort to get out there and find a date!

Help! I think my libido needs a jumpstart!

Any ideas?

~Tart

Rant

If you are NOT about to hit the car in front of you then please, please, please refrain from honking. Hate it. Want to make it illegal.

~Tart

kudos for sex positive...

i found what looks like an amazing sex-positive organization in vancouver - libido events - i'm thinking an orientation and membership is in order...will keep you posted...

lush

Tart has a crush ...

... on a neighbour

For a year now.

Everytime I see her I am in my gumboots, pajama bottoms and fourteen layers walking the dog. Usually with a toque covering the bad hair and yesterday's makeup.

Tonight I was having a little looksy on the lesbian dating site tonight and lo and behold ... ready for it ... READY?There.SHE.was! She iiiiiiiiiiiiissss Gay, gay, gay!

Damn Damn Damn ... Why did I not just walk outside and walk the dog looking like the hottie I really am? Ok maybe not hottie but defnitely not the baglady I've been portraying. ... Well, Tart took a chance and emailed her. Wish me luck.

Do not check your email. Do not check your email. Do not check your email. GGAHHhh !!!! I gotta go check my email!

~Tart

is it love, or lust, or...?

i'm ...well, not really love...more like lust, or at least an intense level of "i really, really want!". ever feel that kind of wanting? just for the record, i have had him (in the carnal sense). now i just want him in every other sense ... and therein lies my problem. i want like a a six year old wants, immediately and intensely. yes, i know i'm supposed to be all grown-up and stuff, but really, this one is rather special, and worth wanting like that. what makes thim that special? i'm so glad you asked! he is amazingly intelligent, and not just in an academic way (he does have those creds too though); he's also creative, unique, kinky, talented, and mmmm, can this man kiss!

but I digress...what was i talking about...? just thinking about his kisses does that to me....oh yes, he also seems to think i'm pretty special (and yes folks, i'm that easy).....the problem i have is that i want him to fall in love with me. hell, just so you know, i want everyone to fall in love with me, but especially him.

he asked me once what i want from life, and i told him that "i want to be surrounded by people i care about, and to be doing something that has meaning in my life. i want to live my life with passion and I want loves and lovers". not much to ask for is it?

And i want him to be one of those people, one of my loves (and yes, only one....but i'll save that discussion for another day...). so what do i do? i take a deep breath and tell the six year old that if it is meant to be, it will be, and if it does not work out, i will have had an amazing experience, and i'll move on to other adventures....but just in case it might help, keep your fingers cross for me okay?

lush

Hello Blogworld!

Hello there.

I'm Tart. Sweet, sour. Nice, not nice. Some things, all things, everything.

Remember this song:

Keep posted. Lots of secrets, posts, questions, answers, polls and juicy topics coming to the Adventures of T and L soon!

Love,
~Tart